Just speaking to myself

I always assume wrong.

I thought London was big enough.
No, it could be quite small from time to time.
I could bump into someone.

I thought I was moving on.
No, it still took my breath away and made me unable to breath properly for a while.
I still did not know how to react.
I even could not say hi.
I just stood there frozen like a fool.
I am still feeling.. like.. upset? confused? about an hour after.

I thought I had made the right decision and I am still thinking the same.
Have I?
I do not know.
I will only find it out after a while, not now.

It is just so hard to deal with.
Even a while after everything happened and I made up my mind.
When am I going to be okay?
How longer do I need to finally feel I have moved on?
It is so silly.
I was the one who had decided everything and now am feeling like this?
I just do not know what I am doing.